Wives, Here are a few hints to get closer to your husbands.
- He likes you to look your best.
He doesn’t like you to be sweaty and smelly at home. So try to be clean and smart even at home. Dress pleasant when you go out. The Song of Solomon speaks of the cleanliness of mouth and dress (4:11). Dresses though not costly need to be clean and fresh. Have good housecoats and nighties for home wear. There are wives who don’t care for their appearance yet expect their husbands to run-around them. A well-groomed wife is the husband’s pride. Be sensitive to his comments about your appearance and instead of sulking at his negative remarks try to improve. If there is bad breath or any such thing, attend to it. He may welcome a new hairdo too!
- He likes a clean home.
Housewives are called so, though they are not the wives of their houses! The term obviously indicates their primary responsibility. Cobwebs hanging all over, dustsedimented on windows and slippery bathrooms are commonplace today. Be briskand active at home. Keep the front yard and backyard clean. Have a flower vase. Spread a table cloth. Mop the floor. Laziness and sloppiness are black marks for a wife. Do not shove things under the cot or heap up unwanted things in the loft. Don’t allow the garbage to remain till it stinks. These affect the household atmosphere very much (Prove 31:27).
- He likes good food.
To expect the husband to eat yesterday’s leftover kills his spirit. Good food does not mean costly food. Variety is necessary. Don’t cook whatever the servant brings. Plan your cooking. Go to the market yourself whenever possible and select the vegetables. Show interest in culinary skills. Cut, colour and arrange in new ways. Try new recipes. Find out your husband’s tastes (Gen 27:9). When he wants to dine out in a restaurant once in a way, don’t grumble about the expenses. He needs a change and it is good for you to take advantage of his taste and eat a meal out! When he appreciates somebody’s cooking, don’t pounce on him, learn it.
- He likes to decide things.
He doesn’t like you to be interfering in all his decisions or telling him what to do, though he welcomes suggestions. Don’t fret when he handles finance. His leadership at home must be respected. Submit without resentment. Don’t scorn his decisions. Stand by him in his mistakes and help him. He is not and angel to be perfect. He starts learning to be a husband only after marriage. So be patient and grow with him as you learn to be a wife. The beauty of a woman is submission to her husband with a gentle and quiet spirit. A woman who rules her husband at home has lost her public image. It is difficult to play double game here. People are shrewd enough to single out a hen-pecked husband. Yes, society cannot tolerate a hateful woman who is married, one who ought to serve, not reign (Prov 30:21- 23).
- He likes to be petted and pampered.
He coddles like a baby when his temperature goes up to 990F and expects his food to be brought to the bed. Do it with pleasure. Don’t fall into the dull routine of cooking, washing and cleaning. Think of novel ways to surprise your husband. He loves a special treat. A compliment lifts him up. Criticising his siesta may irritate him. On the other hand a suggestion to rest because he looks tired may help him relax (SS 3:5). Sew on his shirt button. Remind him to take what he has forgotten while he steps out of the house. Try an occasional nocturnal rambling with him.
- He likes a cheerful companion.
Be a good listener. Don’t roar like an inferno. Neither stage a loud silence. You may win the argument but lose your husband. Too much of agreement also kills a chat. Learn pleasant conversation. Have a cheerful attitude. Encourage his ideas. Don’t kick at his ego. Let him feel superior when he talks to you. When tension mounts in an argument, diffuse it by giving in. SS 4:11 speaks of a wife’s pleasant conversation. No hints, no puzzles, no irks. Just sweet! Rest in the afternoon and be fresh in the evening for quiet and unhurried conversation. Take a walk with the children and chat nonsense while the children play. Don’t be too time-conscious or duty-conscious when you are relaxing with him.
- He likes a full sex life.
Sex is adominant force in his life. Often a wife wonders why he needs so much sex. This leaves the husband feeling guilty that he is too sexy. Men have strong sexual drive. That’s how they are created. If you have problems, it is not wrong to read clean and scientific books on sex. One retired gentleman wanted prayer for deliverance from lust for his wife! There is nothing so called. Isaac was sixtywhen his sons were born. When they were adults still he was sporting withRebekah (Gen 26:8). Sex is not a treat for a husband who has behaved himself throughout the day. It is his matrimonial right (1 Cor 7:4a, 5a). In fact you should be happy if he desires physical intimacy, because that’s a man’s way of loving, thanking and celebrating! The best romance is inside marriage. Build up special love bond with your husband. Sex is an elixir that makes life an ever-ending adventure. Any temporary inability or inconvenience must be politely explained.
- He likes friends and entertainment.
Now and then he may like to go out with his male companions for a game or pastime. Don’t make a hue and cry about it. If he brings in his friends, be sure to entertain them with simple refreshments, so your husband can be proud of you. David loved Michal. But he needed a friend like Jonathan whose love to him was “wonderful, surpassing the love of women” (2 Sam 1:26).
- He loves his parents and relatives.
Maintain good relationship with his parents by regular correspondence. Do not create misunderstanding between mother and son. Countless parents have lost a son instead of gaining a daughter. Become one with his family. Give gifts, though not big, to his brothers and sisters. When he wants to invite them over or entertain them, do your best. Never mind him spending time with them swapping old stories, though you may have to be a silent spectator. Though it would have been hard on Sarah to live with a woman like Lot’s wife, she took it up as a challenge and accepted them to inherit the blessings that God had called them to possess, till such a time when Abraham himself wanted them to move out.
- He likes to have his wife.
He loves food but hates to see you always in the kitchen. He loves a clean house but he prefers a home. He loves his children but is chagrined when you devote all your time to them. He wants you to be intelligent and talented but becomes moody when you get immersed in reading or become outgoing at his expense. When he comes home tired he needs twinkling eyes and smiling lips to welcome him, tender hands to fix him a coffee, soft words to comfort him of the problems he faced and soothing fingers to apply balm for his aching head. His crying need is for a wife than for anything else. Don’t get so caught up with making living that there is no time to live. Be available to your husband as a wife.
It is not easy to be the kind of wife the Bible intends you to be. Nowhere is a woman’s spiritual fibre tested more. So take this as a challenge. Let today be the first day of the rest of your renewed life.
